Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Dad Hat

I was wearing a green sweater the night my dad died- beautiful cabling on the yoke, a grass green that really didn't suit me but it was one of the things I'd shoved into my bag when I packed to run up to MO. After that night I couldn't look at the sweater. A couple months ago I unravelled it. I never tried taking a commercial garment apart and it was a real mess with a lot of waste, but I got a couple balls of yarn out of it and thought, someday I'll make something I can stand with this color.
I knitted a couple hats for me and Heather, and loved the shape so I started one with the green yarn. I picture myself wearing it on the various November 26th I have left in this life, and I think about my dad, and wonder if he could see that bright green on his youngest daughter while he lay in a coma. I wonder if he heard my prayers, if he heard the rosary I recited. I miss him so much.
So despite all the knots and frayed threads I am knitting a dad hat. And I'll wear it someday.
Pictured are Heather and me in our new hats, which have no taint of grief or sadness to them. And they are really cute. Can't wait for cold weather.