New Year's Eve

I am delighted to have this awful old year nearly in the past. It's been uphill the whole way. I've made some progress but mostly I feel it was a backsliding, disappointing, heartbreaking kind of year. That means it's bound to get better from here! I hope!

Back to Work

My two days off without having to go anywhere were of course marred with dr appointments and worry but otherwise ok. I am glad I got what I got done. Glad to be back to work today.
I finished Allison's glovelets and am starting Amanda's pink and purple hat. I don't know what will happen with it, I just picked out the yarn and expect it to knit itself.

Bad Year

It's official. 2009 has so far been the worst year of my life.
My oldest sister died 1-13, mom nearly died of appendicitis 1-16, Ember died 4-14, dad died 11-26 and Blackie died today after being paralyzed since Christmas day. If I can get the taste of this year out of my mouth and the memory of it out of my head it will be a miracle.
I am so tired. This day has been terrible. Even knitting couldn't help.

Cow(l)

I finished Allison's cowl. I think I have enough yarn for fingerless gloves. I am remaking a hat for myself with the heavy chenille yarn that I will never use again, probably. I need to sit back and think a bit for my next project. It might involve sewing, I don't know.
Several people at work have never heard of cowls and thought I was making cows. I love that.

Merry....Ha

Oh, God I am not able to be spirited I'm afraid. With my email if the C word is in it I just delete. I wish I could be, but everything conspires against it.
To top it all off the cowl I'm knitting for Allison had to be stripped down to the first stitch because the thing was huge. This was the first time I used those circulars and I am, after all, retarded.
The weather is making me smile. It's going to be AWFUL starting Christmas Eve and that's just fine with me. Mom's safe in Chicago (oh really?) and I don't really care what happens to me.

Green Hat Blue Cowl

I finished the hat for Jamie and of course he was off so I have to leave it somewhere for a couple days, as I have pre-Christmas travel plans.
I hate weather reporters who don't know of my journey plans who say, "Snow to come!" and then talk about birthday celebrations while I wonder if I can make it across Missouri and back without sliding off the road.
Well I don't have a choice. And I did grow up in Wyoming where blizzards are an excuse to get out of the house. I'll be alright. I guess.
Allison's dark blue cowl is on my circular needles and I have no idea how it will turn out.
We shall see.

Orange You Finished?

The orange and yellow are so cheerful I feel stupid in it. Except it's a warm set and I hope I actually use it. Next I think I'll get some good black for myself. I am tired of cheer.
Made Flor a burgundy/rusty red hat that looks beautiful with her skin and hair. She wants a scarf to match but I'm out of yarn. If she buys I'll fly.
I am battling the depression that usually starts a week before Christmas, and though I usually win I don't know how much fight I have left in me. Really. The idea of giving in to it is sort of attractive. I'm sick of everything- knitting, thinking, BEING. I know logically this is just a hard time in my life but really, there are going to be more scheduled as the years crawl by and do I need this kind of torture? No. I do not.
I'm sick of whining about it too.

Hat Wildness

I unraveled the orange and yellow hat and started anew- sort of anew, I left the brim and started increasing two to three stitches. Had to put it on a circular needle I hardly ever use. No telling WHAT will happen. It's mine. I don't care. Scarf is nearing...sort of done, depending on how much yarn I need for the hat.

One of those TRIPS

This is what you look like driving to certain doom.

Just the scarf

I am now almost finished with my yellow and orange doctor seuss-like set of winter stuff. Just the scarf left to finished, and of course the scarf is the hardest part. Not the hardest but the most tedious. Especially a garter stitch. Ugh, it could take forever. Probably until it warms up. I even put the fringe on the finished edge so I wouldn't run out of yarn in the middle. Come on cold weather!
As for the rest of my life...well, it sucks. But. Whatcha gonna do?
I suppose it's time to talk about Angus, the Secret Dog. The one I've been hiding from my mother because she can't imagine why anyone would want one dog, much less three. But Blackie is getting old and we need a good watch dog, which, God bless her, Chloe is not. So Angus, he is the new generation. Part German shepherd, part something else. He is a snuggler, but not averse to sleeping on the floor by the couch when Chloe is lying on my neck making me choke. Which I adore. I love those dogs, these cats, all my animals.

Brain Dead Knitter

I am so glad that it's automatic now, mostly.
I'm fixin' to start a cowl for my friend Allison. I love my cowl, made last year, one of the first things I did on circular needles. I am doing it in midnight blue and hope that it's gorgeous when finished. I like the whole principle of a cowl, tucking it into the neckline of your coat, not dipping it in undesirable things or catching it in doors as is common with a scarf. Though scarves rock, don't get me wrong. I'm still working on my own yellow and orange ensemble.
Thank GOD for knitting. Even though through this stress I have been smoking. Not as much. Any one skipped, every delightful coffin nail avoided, is good.

Orange You Yellow

The bright yellow and orange should be making me cheerful. I like the hat very much, and I feel it's some of my best work. Mostly. But the scarf has been a royal pain in the ass. I don't know why I put myself through this! But I do!
Since my dad passed away life has been surreal and awful. I am not sure if I"m looking forward to returning to work on Wednesday, but I am looking forward to not thinking about the horrors of Thanksgiving day. It was something that will be in my mind for a long, long time. I love my dad. I love my mom. Now I am determined to do the right thing for both of them. How on earth can I go on this way? The changes a few weeks make. Terrible.