Knittin' like a Motherfucker

I have knitted a lot of stuff. Like, a scarf, which I created mostly at the bedside of my dying father, sitting in ICU with a dusty rose color being rib stitched as the rows grew and our hopes dwindled.
My niece and nephew were kind enough to get me some cheerful orange and yellow yarn. Reminds me of big bird.
My niece bought me gray yarn to make her fingerless gloves and a scarf. Done with a glove, no thumb yet, and more to come.
I miss my dad.

Back

My dad is in icu with pneumonia and life has been pretty horrific in that glacier moving down the mountain way.
Just waiting, for cultures to come back, for procedures to be done, for things to happen, dads to get better, moms to relax and life to go on.

A scarf!

Am I really going to do a scarf? I think I am. I sort of hate them but I need something really mindless and different from a hat.
Finished James' hat, working on Casey's. I love that lavender, orchid color. I am going to make a checkered band I think.

Aran

I think Aran knitting is beautiful, and every time I work on something cream colored I think of it. I am cabling James' hat and next up adding a half inch to Greg's, because I couldn't stand it otherwise.
I liked getting off at 9 last night. Don't know why. It just felt weird and unnatural. So glad I don't come in any earlier. I don't know.

I love HATS!

I am still not tired of hats. I'm working on a white one for Tahmra's man James, who is a real sweetie. I think it'll look great on him, and I want to cable it all fancy like. Though the scarf is simple. I am having a hard time telling different shades of cream/white/ecru/eggshell or whatever ivory, beige, off-white are. It's kind of sad. And red gets me. Is it crimson, vermilion, rust, raspberry? It's red. Ok?
Today I start 1-9 and I am as nervous as a schoolgirl. I keep thinking, this will be a new era in productivity!
I worry about eating late- I already aim for a light snack after work, instead of a big meal. But now, going in at 1pm, I'll have to get used to an earlier large meal and keep to a plain sandwich or yogurt or crackers after work. Who knows, I might start an exercise regime! It could happen. Maybe.
I do need to hit the elliptical trainer. I bought it. It's in there. I have a damn i-Pod, to make it interesting. Why don't I get off my butt and do it now, or even at 1am when I used to be home getting ready for bed? Because I am so lazy. I have to face it. I am a slug. Maybe I can do something about that. Slinking by on the bare minimum, knitting all the time is no way to go through life.
But I have all these hats I have to make....

Victim of Changes

Ah! Ah! My last day on 4-midnight. I am deeply conflicted, both because I don't know how I'll like another shift, and I adapt poorly to change. Or let's say, I hate change, but I seem to get over it fast. I don't feel like I'll be sad and miserable at work, but it wont be the same and that's the bad part. I am praying that I do like my new shift, but my skepticism is un-budge-able.
It's nice out and I'm not doing much- looking at my knitting pile. Only a little more pathetic than my sewing pile.
God I need to get a life.

Good Deeds

I try to be a decent person, mostly due to a Christian upbringing, guilt and all, and I especially try to help my folks out. I vacuumed yesterday, then rode nearly 4 hours home, then had to sweep and mop my own home due to a puppy related incident that involved Angus and Chloe escaping their enclosure and going on a rampage. Good to report my first reaction to seeing the carnage- or rug-age, as it was mostly a rug of Blackie's, was to laugh.
But my back hurt when I was finished and it's killing me now, too. Rats! Couple days ought to settle it down.
Next trip dogs are scheduled for outdoors! Except Blackie, who is good. He must have been totally freaked out by the puppies tearing stuff up. Of course he would never help them. Never!

What day is this, anyway?

So it's Sunday, is it? Can't tell, I have the curtains closed. It's dark in here. I will need to shed light if I intend to sew anything. Which I probably wont do.
These last days of 4-midnight are kind of bittersweet for me. What a fucking sap. But last night I thought, this is my last Saturday walking out of here, weary and sticky from all the smoke and darkness after midnight. Maybe. Maybe this will all be a bad dream. Man, that would be cool.
I've worked these hours for 6 years, at the minimum, maybe closer to 7, and I am very much a creature of habit.
I've been reading a lot of weight related blogs, and find my own thoughts and actions eerily similar. Like anyone else who has lost weight, a little or a lot, I am terrified of gaining a pound, the mental vision of a cat clawing it's way down a wall, fighting every inch comes to mind. That's me and food. Yuck! I hate having this 'condition' and even at my age, when I should be past if not vanity then the yoke of peer pressure, I struggle to not find my only value as a human in what size pants I can squeeze my ass into. (12, a pair of juniors I should let rest while I pull on a 12 misses and celebrate getting my hands in and out of the pockets easily.) Not eating makes me good, eating makes me very bad, worthless, weak and fat.
The one thing I know works is avoiding eating out. If you just eat sensible things at home, you can even eat a little ice cream now and then. If you're getting fast food at a drive-thru or a restaurant where portion sizes are calculated to make people feel like they're getting value, it's just too damn much food. Too much fat, too much salt, enough for probably three meals. Ridiculous to submit to that. But I love eating out too much to ever quit totally. Exotic things, gourmet, trendy, oh, I'll be there holding a fork. Drooling.
Why does life have to be so hard?
I am not whining anymore. Big baby.

Here and Now

It's a gorgeous day, 68 degrees and sunny, beautiful, and of course I have to work. Not that I would do anything more than I'm doing now if I wasn't slated to go act as the doorman into gambling hell. But whatever.
I finished Lois' hat and she's not going to be at work. Freakin' terrific! I have hats lying around ready for people to pick up and this room is starting to look like some kind of weird millinery warehouse.
Started Justin's hat again. It was his birthday yesterday. While knitting the idea of doing cables just bored me so I am making it black and blue, but with some kind of pattern. Maybe a big peace sign. Maybe his initials. I'm going to try a little fairisle, anyhow. Something different.

TGIF

I am not sure why Friday should matter, but it does. It will be fast and busy at work tonight. I like that. It's beautiful here today and I'm up betimes to run a couple errands involving dog food and other staples.
Falling back to work has been a real blessing. I am so glad to be back on a normal schedule. Next Friday I'll be changing hours, 1-9, which ought to be a tremendous shock to my system because I've been 4-midnight for almost 6 years. I look forward to getting home a bit earlier, and hope my time still allows me to go to doctor appointments and keep up my knitting. I'm working on a red cap for Lois, and then I'm back to Justin's black and blue, since, of course, I gave his away.

Back to Knitting

I finished Jeff's cheerful red hat, working on one for Lois. My personal hat is not going to work. Fail! My idea to make a cute hat that won't crush the crap out of your hair needs some tweaking, especially without the black bow. Ugh, I don't think I'll unravel it yet. I hope to re-do Justin's hat, which was gorgeous, indeed, and make a slouch hat for Clarissa, my neighbor. I gave Justin's hat to Roy, her very cool little boy, and do they have some gorgeous little puppies. I'd love to have one.
Maybe this hat isn't so bad. I don't know; I got my hair cut Tuesday so everything looks odd.
I woke up with a migraine this morning, and it's weird how I'll think of all sorts of reasons why I have one...but I didn't eat chocolate- oh, I had a slice of ham on a sandwich last night. One slice of ham, which is the only thing I've had that's bad. The list of bad things, what with gout and migraine, is huge. Adventure!

Back on the Needles

I started a cap for Jeff yesterday in a bright red that should make me cheerful just looking at it. Got about a half inch past the brim and gave up. I am trying to render my sewing room habitable, which is a joke but I wont go in to it at this point.
My vacation has been ok. I got what I wanted done...mostly. I still haven't done much with the closet and that is what a few other things hinge on, but otherwise I wasn't too bad. At least I wasn't sick the entire time.
The dark red curtains in my sewing room are not going to work. I can already feel it.

November

Marie sits in piles and I feel my true age! I had fun, prancing around in that big mess but on to bigger and better things!
I thought about my livingroom curtains, and thinking is as far as it's progressed. I have a few errands to run today and it's gorgeous outside, no wind, brilliant sun, leaves still clinging to the trees. We still haven't had a freeze. I love fall.
I have a zipper to fix, some kind of order to put this sewing room in, and that closet. That closet it still looking at me with wistful hope. And I plan on doing right by it. Especially since there is a Goodwill drop off just down the block. Lookout! Hope they don't mind big polyester.