Amanda's Hat

I finished the variegated pink and orchid hat and it's pretty cute. I used all different needles, only starting the brim with the 6 hat knitter I fashioned out of an 11 small circular.
The cool think about yarn is, you can reverse the process. It can be fixed. it's not permanently ruined as fabric is. Which is why my dummy gets so many things pinned to it. I'm making Lois's hat, which I did in the fall butt which, due to her being out of surgical leave, was given instead to Martha on a cold, hat needing day.
I had Lois pegged for red, but I really think she likes all colors. I'm thinking buff and bright red, maybe. No white and red, it just bores me.
It's New Year's Day. I'm smoking. Oh,dear,I have GOT to quit. That was the whole point of knitting in the first place. I guess the stress just got to me. Meet the New Year. Same as the Old year. I have all this to do over again. *sigh*.
Except for my crappy lungs, I'd smoke if I could.
Denial is no good. I wasn't smoking at work. I was trying to keep it to a minimum. But who am I kidding? I can chew all the nicotine gum the rest of my life, and I'll still be addicted. Something goes wrong and I reach for a pack of Marlboros. Idiot. I use the excuse that you can't live with a smoker and not smoke. I have blamed others when I'm the one searching for a lighter with my eyes half open.
I hate this damn habit. It's sickening. Literally. I saw my dad die of emphysema and look at me. Makes me think I'm either a natural moron or just wrongly wired.
Idiot!