Working

I've pretty much just ruined my days off not doing anything but laundry---I mean, at LEAST I did laundry. Went shopping with mom yesterday and had such a good time. I'm getting ready to take her out again. I enjoy her so much. I wish I could hang out with her every day....but that is for another blog! I completed Kaylee Sue's hat and scarf--and do I hate making scarves? Yes, so much that I started another one, 3x3 rib knit in turquoise, chocolate and cream. Not sure who it's for, but mom likes it. The rib stitch is such a yarn eater. I need to finish the booties for Donna's daughter Trina-- I have one set finished but I tried something new and they sort of look like hooves. Hm. So, I need to be knitting and I'm planning on going shopping again. Well- my mother is going on 92, so I need to do what I can to make her happy.

Bug

I am referring to a 24 hour bug- although this one is going on 48. It's the longest I've gone without knitting in years. Too sick to do anything but lie around and nap. After the initial barfing and spewing has passed, it's now just general malaise. I hope I can make it out tonite with my best friend. We have coupons. I can't see me eating much!

Kaylee Sue's Hat

I made a hat yesterday in pink and purples with the pompoms on each side for Kaylee and now have the scarf on my needles. The hat took a couple hours, the scarf will take DAYS. Ah, well. I also perfected the little knit maryjanes for the baby doll collection. WooHoo! I'll have to take them over the Cindy's and witness her amazement. I am sad because my Aunt Madeline passed away. It makes me just sigh in despair. But, being Christian I do believe this is not the end and she is in store for better things. It just hurts to lose her. I never got to spend enough time with her once she moved away from MO. Thank GOD I learned to knit. I really don't know how I managed without it.

Ruined!

I had a perfectly good post started about what I've learned as a knitter, and I ruined it completely by including some decidedly not-knitting information such as, I learned that when things are good they can go bad really fast. Ugh. So, I need a pat on the back for how far I've come in knitting- not that I haven't got a long way to go- but I have learned how to follow a pattern (although I am pretty sure I've never gone beyond 'intermediate' or 'advanced' on one.) While I have never tried an experienced pattern (OK might have tried it never finished.) I feel like I will some day. Complicated lace instructions are something that grow on you. And my most recent failure of the two color intarsia...well, I am going to try that again, one day. The hat brim is on the needles, waiting for me to grow the cojones. So that's where I am, getting there-though I have a bad bad habit of ending knitting projects short. I'm talking afghans and things like that. I always preferred mufflers to scarves, as well. Maybe I will really really quit smoking this time. Haven't had one since Monday. I wasn't smoking much- just at work- but it was needing them that bothered me. So keep knitting! Learn and master something new. Enjoy my hobby that is useful and beautiful. I can give people I like things that they can use.

Scarf Pic

Finally got the picture- though it isn't a good one. Also got to wear it today because the temperature plunged a lot. Yay for cold weather--and I wonder how long it will be before I start whining about that.

Scarf

I have knitted a fair amount but can't get a camera to work enough to get a picture of anything. I am definitely having a week. My scarf that I made to match my birthday purse mostly matches- I like it on its own, though. Kind of reminds me of a feather boa. I love junk like that. I think it will look great with my beige raincoat. And boots. I celebrated my birthday yesterday and it was all good. I am just relieved to be out of a 7 year. I wish I weren't superstitious bit I am. True to form all of last year was horrific. Now things can start getting better. Any time!

Scarf

ANOTHER scarf, this one to match my new awesome purse. But- who knows how it will turn out. I've been knitting a lot, as usual, and hoping to finish this scarf in the next few days. I'm doing all the dolly sweaters and making baby presents, and it seems to keep me busy. Thank GOD for knitting.

Baby Hat

I am knitting a baby hat for a friend of mine- and I made one once before but I didn't lie it for a real baby. It went in with the baby doll collection. I've been trying a few different things- including crocheting a border around a sweater edge. That was sort of iffy but it has potential. I have been working constantly and feeling pretty good. Sore, dealing with changing weather and the aches in my hands. But that's life, I guess!

Teeny Tiny Sweaters

I've got four baby doll sweaters done, hats to match three, booties for a couple- and a lot of things to do. So busy knitting I don't have time to sew. I am enjoying being able to bring my projects with me on my travels. Came home today in a state of exhaustion. Ridiculous but delightful.

Prospects

Aside from me being a total clutz, tripping and injuring myself pretty thoroughly last night, I have plans! I started knitting a baby doll sweater, because I may have the attention span to deal with it. I also have the itch to sew- and not just costumes. I hope the cooler weather will inspire me to create, not just lay around and sleep a lot. I have so many regrets about my sedentary style of living this summer. But after the surgery I really didn't want to do a thing. Maybe I'll get better. I already feel better at work.

Lowered Expectations

Oh I had plans. When I walked out of work that last day, dreading surgery, I secretly had ideas in my head, things I would do, places I would go. Things I would see. Well that really went south. Let me tell you, with knitting I did more unravelling, got pissed and tossed one whole project IN THE TRASH. I started so many things- wanted to do a double knit scarf in black and purple with a matching scarf. Ok really the hat started off as my first attempt at entrelac, and is now a good brim on needles for something or other. I farted around with crochet thread (that's the one in the trash.One long thread is hanging out, and I fleetingly considered untangling the failed attempt to make a lacy scarf knit VERTICALLY, what the hell was I thinking?) I am still on the baby afghan, and I'm giving it to Amber for her upcoming son Lucas Michael If I get it done. At least...at least it isn't awful. I have a scarf on small needles my mom got me at Joann's and that's about a foot and a half of no detectable mistakes so far. I gave up on a lot of things though- the previously documented entrelac, the sparkly black yarn on big needles. I have had a few successful sewing projects at least. And some failures. I go back to work tomorrow. I think, I wont have time to do anything! I wont have a vacation for years, probably. I will be back to business. I am glad of it. I need some structure! I hope I can do this.

USELESS!

I've been off a month--over four weeks- and I've done nothing worthwhile and finished nothing at all. The cotton thread has been a bust, my blue baby blanket is wadded up into a pile, I can't get anything to go right, and in a last ditch attempt to make some meaningful progress, I am trying to learn entrelac knitting. Screw it, I am pretty sure I'm brain damaged, just trying to figure this technique out. Oh, it's so easy, everyone on the internet says. Nothing to it! I've tried on two different projects about ten times and still can't get it right. I am an idiot. Even the Old Man remarked how angry I was stuffing my balls of yarn into the bag I keep them in. I just keep trying, I guess. I am still feeling some pain in my abdomen. To be expected I guess. And more importantly, I am suffering from a sinus infection. Got meds yesterday and it seems to be breaking up a little, thank God. My ears were plugged, I was dizzy. I felt so awful. I hope to be healed up and ready to go back to work the 18th. Also, I hope to be able to knit an entrelac scarf. Nothing special, nothing challenging. Or I'm going to throw something.

REST

I've been sleeping so much! It's my only escape from pain and stress. My incision is healing I think. Sometimes it feels like the subcutaneous stitches will burst. I am off the big pain pills. Having horrendous hot flashes- just like after all surgeries, but I feel these wont go away on their own so I am using the hr gel. I am supposed to be off 6 weeks. I can imagine I will be- I have never felt this bad after surgery. I am knitting- slowly. Hardly have the patience for it. I'd rather nap.

Hospital

I have got my catheter out, m IV unplugged but still in there and breakfast ordered. Got Bug a breakfast and I'll be interested in finding out the cost. A million dollars! I got up and unplugged the pulse O2 heart monitor and still can't get it to come on so I hope I don't get in trouble. I hurt pretty much but I am so ready to get out of here. Bug fast asleep. I might have got a grand total of four hours- I want to go home and see the dogs!

My innards seem to be functioning. But I sure the hell cant type. Just peeked at my incision and holy shit is there a lot of carnage. I am afraid to really look at it- it's nothing like my others. Frightful! Looks like a c-section!

New Shop

I found a yarn shop in Claremore called Unwind, and it was there that I found three sets of new needles- a pair of size two bamboo- so slick and sharp- and two pairs of circulars, both short ones- 16 inchers. I love them! They are nearly identical to the two pair I had to carve down from size 11 to 6 myself, using elbow grease, sand paper and patience. I am working on a baby hat and booties in blue for my friend Christine, and have a lot of the blue lace baby afghan completed...but not all. Still struggling with that. It looks like it might be nice today. I haven't got any plans. I don't even want to put on clothes. On the upside, my feet are doing better. The new inserts helped, and the flare up on my horrible left one seems to be subsiding. So there are things to be grateful.

New Needles!

My dear friend Kat brought me some knitting needles she inherited and I was so happy! There is a wide variety, some small ones I can't find anywhere, and some giant ones I am so excited to have. I am so thrilled. It almost makes up for the fact that my left foot is being a total pill and I have been hobbling for a few days. Sent Bug to get me new inserts, which I hope will help. It's really torment the last few days. Today tore it. I wore extra thick socks and a pair of black ones over that, and brought two different sets of inserts....changed back and forth, fought with them off and on. I am ready for something to not hurt.

Must. Have. More.Yarn!

Well I purchased another baby blue skein of yarn, which is weird because I don't know how much is going into the baby afghan with what I have. All of it, I think. And more. Plus I love working with that skinny yarn. And blue shows less dog hair. It's back to work this morning- and I have really had a nice time on my days off. Cleaned out closets and drawers for donations to AMVETS and tried to get the old desktop wireless...not sure what I'm doing wrong there, but it's not successful. I suppose I'll have to chip away at it in my slow, plodding way. I had terrible news on my days off that my boss- someone I have worked with for ten years- resigned. It's a shock, and awful, and a sad day for all of us. Everyone loved him, and it wont be the same without him.

Nothing New

There isn't anything unusual going on. Still knitting the blue baby blanket. Still occasionally messing up the pattern but I seem to be haphazardly fixing mistakes and not having to do a lot of un-knitting. I haven't got a needle on anything else. Just this pattern. Forever and forever and forever. I am training myself to be ok with larger pieces. And now, there is something unsatisfying in a project that fits in my bad. Must look for larger bag. My ball of yarn keeps falling out and rolling several yards away before I realize it. It just compounds the absent minded aura I have. Day off plans, going to take mom antiquing. My left wrist is giving me a hard time. I can't turn it to look at my watch, typing hurts and knitting hurts. That's what I get for falling like a clutz. I hope it gets better. And like everything else, if it doesn't I'll get used to it.

A State of Zen

When the project is going smoothly, it's the most relaxing, rewarding feeling in the world....this baby blanket, in it's mostly multiples of three, the yarn overs, the k2together, the vast satisfaction of seeing the lacy pattern emerge is like being master of the universe. And then of course you mess it up and you have to count and un-knit and grumble..... That's probably why I love knitting. It's an analogy of life. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard. And sometimes the things that look easy are hard. And vice versa. It's a quiet Sunday morning, the birds are chirping, and I'm hoping my day at work is one that includes fun and air conditioning. That is NOT too much to ask for. Since my alarming fall Friday- tripping and flying through the air, landing on my hands and knees, which startled more than hurt me- I am improving rapidly. A few bruises...a little stiff when I first get up. Kind of like the aged lady I am anyway. I officiated at my dear friend Nancy's wedding in April and loved it. Can't wait to do it again and maybe get better at it. She was so sweet, and forgiving! I do love weddings, they usually make me cry. All that optimism and hope. I have never watched a bride float down the aisle without tearing up a little. It's a magnificent thing. I held my breath (not literally. Mentally!) until Nan got her completed marriage license in the mail. I think I was afraid the county would be jerks about it. But, I also think that people should have an option- if you don't belong to a regular church, and you don't want a sad little justice of the peace ceremony, you ought to be able to get someone like me who adds a certain....um....something...to a ceremony. My friend Monty said I added a goth touch. I reminded him that I was too old to be called goth. I was like this long before that term was used. I'm not sure what they called people like me back in the 70's, Hm. How did this post wind up here? Well, it continues, life, in its ups and downs. I just keep plodding along. One stitch at a time. One day at a time!

Blue Lace

I've been plugging away at my new project, which is a baby blanket for a friend's new grandson. It's easier. And being not white, the dog hairs don't show as blatantly. I am horrid. I tell myself that's why I could never go pro, living in a household with animals. Has nothing to do with my knitting being mediocre! Ha ha. It's my Friday. Days off plans include, not much of anything, a visit to the doc, some grumbling, laundry, taking mom to some kind of antique shop. I hope it's nice and not hot...keep hoping, huh. I have to get through today first. As a side note, carrying my ever-increasingly large projects around makes me look even more like a bag lady that ever! There's a HUGE ball of Bernat baby blue yarn in the black bag, and the piece, on circular needles, sort of....hanging out pitifully wherever I go. I throw it on the dashboard of the car when I go into Wal Mart...because, really, where else do I go that I can't knit? Well, better get ready for the day. I approach it with cautious optimism.

The White Blanket

I am still working on it. STILL! Of course, I am learning to deal with a larger project. Maybe learning patience. As if a knit project could teach me something I never got my whole life. Hmph. I am reasonably happy the last few days, keeping busy with the lace pattern I think I have absorbed...I haven't had to take it apart much and the few times I did, I got it back on the needles pretty easy. It's probably about three feet long. Maybe. My measuring skills....too lazy to get a tape measure or yard stick. I have no desire to smoke at home at all. Not even a little. It's a blessing and a miracle. I don't even miss it with my morning coffee. But I do have a hard time dealing with it at work. I keep trying. That's all I can do. I am hoping I can just keep going and not be plunged into madness or depression. And I'll keep knitting!

Long Project

The white lace baby blanket continues....I have made a few mistakes and sorted them out. It's frustrating for me to work on big projects because of my woefully short attention span. I usually stick to small things because of this. But I noticed I have purposely chosen to do larger things a few times to sort of get my feet wet. It's nice to just knit. For a long time. I may actually try a real throw sometime- and not one on giant needles, either, as I have done in the past. I have my eye on a pattern in my stitch booklet. It looks really hard. It probably is.

I Am An Imbecile

I worked for months on that damn lace pattern and I've finally gotten it. I am iffy about repairing mistakes, but I can at least back up a row, and there are fewer mistakes to deal with. I made a hat, scarf and wrist warmers in a baby yellow which it will probably never be cool enough to wear in my lifetime, but I am reasonably happy. Got my new glasses and while they are great for laptop, knitting and reading, the computer at work is a challenge. The bifocal lens is so low, I am doing a lot of shifting up and down. I don't know. Maybe the no lines would have been better.. I fear how they affect going down stairs. If I ever have the chance to post me wearing the yellow lace ensemble, I will but I went right into the baby blanket- 217 stitches and easy, supposedly. Bah. It has been over two months. Let's see if I can complete it. I am pleased so far, but I have about oh, eight inches or so, probably. I have seen a few more stitches on the weekly stitch that I want to try. If they are all as hard as this one was, I will be working on it for the rest of my life.

Progress

Not only is the scarf coming along nicely, it's my Tuesday and I managed to survive yesterday rather well. Took the dogs walking-- and it's much nicer now that for the most part it isn't like being dragged and jerked along a washboard. They are so smart. If we were as smart as they are, we'd all be trained by now and the world would be a better place. I am thinking about making a hat to go with the scarf, now that I have gotten to where I haven't screwed the pattern up in awhile. And when I have, I've managed to fix it...and I love yellow. Again, since we're coming into summer, and global warming is making my winter wardrobe unnecessary, I guess this is just to keep me from smoking again. By the way, I really did quit this time....it has been 5 completely smoke free days and before that I was sneaking in two or three a day at work. The tapering off seemed to help...the last cigarette I thought, you know I'm tired of this. And surely with my sad history of addiction maybe this time goodness and mercy shall follow me. On another note, since my ordination in the ULC I have been asked to perform my good friend Nancy's wedding. I am of course nervous and excited-- and wouldn't it be freakin' awesome to have a part time gig doing various weddings? I mean, as serious as I am about the idea and philosophy of the institution, it would be awesome to impart some of my knowledge, which, after 26 years, I have a lot! I admit, the first time I did the ULC thing- back in 01 or 02, it was just a joke. But the second time it was more serious. I can't really see it going places, but it would be cool. My title is Officiant, and I am the Reverend Berry. How cool is that? I suppose I will have a marvelous day at work. I plan to anyway.

The Lace Torture

Well I can't describe it as anything else. It's been like a two month beating. I don't know if it's actually been two months, but it feels like much longer than that. (I realize now that I must have started struggling with this pattern around the middle of March, which is of course just one month but I have been frustrated enough for at least two months) I have not mastered the supposedly two star easy lace stitch, but I am close. Is this how it's going to be for me? I can't just pick up something new? Is THIS the kind of knitter I am, one slow to learn and stupid? Sorry. It is. So, I tried everything. The black yarn was making me want to strangle myself with it and mom said, why don't you try a different color? I did, and I have over two feet of a baby yellow scarf nearly perfect....I mean, close enough to perfect, even for me. It hasn't been easy either. The hardest part of any knitting for me has been learning to see when I need to knit or purl (it sounds easy but like I said, I am stupid) well I got that. But when inevitable mistakes happen I was having trouble correcting them. I have tentatively learned how to fix flub ups. Sort of. I've at least done it a few times and haven't had to unravel to the end. I am persistent, I know that. But shouldn't I have gotten better at this? Nope. Not me. But will I quit? Nope! Not me! I will hopefully find other lace stitches easier to master in the future. (Sure I will) and in the mean time I have hopes of making a hat in the same stitch to go with this.....which is hilarious. I suppose winter should be my favorite season since I can't wear any of this stuff in the 100+ weather here in Oklahoma. Onward, onward!

Yarn OVER

Argh!!!!! I am going insane with this one stupid pattern. Tried it on the #1 needles and that was nothing short of farcical. I am so disgusted with myself. I truly must be retarded. I am tired of feeling stupid.
So I just keep slogging on.
I started the original 217 stitch baby blanket. I think I have about 8 rows done on it. Went back to the black yarn and put it on #5 needles, hoping this might be a little easier. Fixed one mistake, which is vaguely hopeful. It's all about training my eye to find them and then developing skills to fix them. Which is why I am feeling like a real idiot.
So. I keep at it. Because I have to.

The Percocet Throw

I had surgery the 19th of March and during that time decided to try a new pattern. It was a Bernat pattern for a baby blanket (Two out of four for skill level) with 217 stitches of yarn over, psso and k2tog. Brilliant. I wielded my needles bravely with the fine white yarn, and did that thing where I kept unraveling about three dozen times and had trouble even casting on 217 stitches let alone not making mistakes on a weird lace pattern...eventually admitting defeat and then morphing the pattern into a very wide scarf- 67 stitches on #6 needles. Ugh. It started out iffy and got more so....until I had about 2and a half feet of wobbly, lurching knit. After some soul searching, I gave up and it is in a pile of hideousness somewhere in my sewing room. I took it about half apart, mourning the crooked rows and the drug-induced desire to start it at all after a procedure.
BUT! I did learn how to do the stitch..mostly. I learned it so that I can correct errors, mostly. I started, on #1 needles in a subtle sparkly black Bug bought me for the ill-considered and poorly executed Panda Hat....so, I am seeing a rather wide but dense lace emerge in uniform rows. I have learnt the stitch and I will be able to use the scarf in the fall. I feel like all that work was at least productive in that I learned the lace stitch.
I have about, oh a good five or six inches of good scarf started. I will re-do the white again, someday, maybe in all 217 stitches...
As I wrote this I finished unraveling the white monstrosity, and I look forward to the day when I really can follow a pattern like a real knitter.....
Oh why didn't I take Home Ec back when I was 14 like all the other girls? It has seriously impacted my entire life. I never knew I was going to want to sew and cook and knit. I never knew I wasn't going to be a bass player in a traveling band. I had no idea I was going to fall in love with a needle completely different from the hypodermic one I figured I'd die with in my arm at 21 or 22.
Ah, youth! I Suppose we all have these little regrets when we're nearing the half century mark mark and looking back.

Even through Loss

It's no secret that I knit constantly. I knit in the car, at work, wherever I happen to be.
A dear friend of mine died this weekend and I am knitting through that. I doesn't shut my mind off but it keeps my hands busy. It's such a horrible shock to lose LaVera, I thought we had so much more time together. I miss her. I wish I could have done something to help.

Still At It

I am still working on the sad bastard scarf. I wont let myself start another project until it's done. By that time it'll be too hot to wear the damn thing. I guess it will go in the giant bag with everything else.
I am trying to enjoy the mechanics of it- cabling, watching the progress, nice even stitches...but I am not the most patient person in the world so it's kind of a hassle. I can do this! I know I can!
Also, I have been entirely smoke free for six days...before that I slipped a few times, but even though this has been a stressful week I haven't slipped- not even at work. And that's where it's hardest. I hope I can stay strong. It sucks. I am past the itchy annoying feeling of needing a cigarette, and feeling crabby about it finally. I hate that de-tox part. You'd think I'd finally wake up and quit doing this to myself....what a head trip any addiction is. I love it, hate it, wish I'd never started it. I am certain I can quit this time- just have to keep not buying them and staying away from hazardous areas.
I CAN do this. I know I can.

Endless

The scarf is just....eternal! I was thinking last night about starting another project but really, I can't think of anything until it's done. I am sort of obsessed I guess. It is kind of neat looking but if someone knew the pattern I was trying to follow they would laugh their heads off. Instead of tackling all the yarnovers and lace steps I just took the easy way out and cable knit it. It's ridiculous! Ah, well. I'll wear it. Maybe next year. As it's so heavy it will be a cold weather article and we don't seem to be having any of that this year.

Friday Update

Well! I was off three days. All I did was work on the sad bastard scarf...other things too boring to mention. I was rather blue most days, mindful of the upcoming medical circus that is my life.
Finished the Dad Hat and Scarf but now I have an almost superstitious fear of it. How could it be anything but grass green bad luck? I threw it into my knit basket and look at it in disgust now and then.
Panda hat...not so great. The eyeholes are not right. I keep thinking I ought to break the yarn off and try something else. It's tying up my size 6 hat knitters....but I wait, maybe until inspiration grabs me.
Back to work today, and I guess I'm ready for it. I don't know. I added my Twitter tweets to this page, so I'll try and keep it more craft oriented and less bitching about things. Besides, knitting is the most important part of my life.
Haven't had a cigarette and I do feel better. But we'll see, when I get back to work. I hope I don't cave to pressure. It doesn't do any good. I keep telling myself that, then I'll buy a pack of Marlboro shorts. Must....stay....strong....

Overload

I have three projects- maybe four- in progress. That's just dumb.
The scarf, which is a sad bastard of a conglomeration I am just plugging at. The panda hat....I fear this will be a real disappointment. The Dad hat, which had some major issues with the top cabling (It fell apart) and a random dad scarf I have only found part of when I reorganized my knitonia. The yarn is so ratty it will be a miracle if I create anything.
Sick as a dog yesterday- and ironically enough got a call from the gastroenterologist's office about the colonoscopy. Which was timely. If I hadn't felt so bad I never would have called back. But it might save my life. WTF. Like I care some days.
Also have the Ultrasound on the 14th and must follow up with Thompson. Dammit! Dammit all! I can't stay away from doctors. I think the problem is a conjunction of both the cyst and my awful intestines. Dammit again I say!

Panda Hat

Even though Bug has changed his mind about the panda hat and affirms that he was temporarily insane and would never wear it, I'm making it anyway.
Part of this is because of my sad lack of success in the two projects I started and unraveled too many times to count. *sigh*
The baby blanket- 176 stitches where anything can go wrong after the 2nd row just depressed me. I attacked another project and grew despondent with the YO and possibility of never being able to accurately correct an error. Another big *sigh*.
So I went back to familiar hat territory, though I bought some new needles to try to expand my skills....if possible. It's been frustrating. I can see where the mistake is but there doesn't seem to be any way to fix it without starting over. And that's just maddening.
So I might try it again. I don't know. It's making me nuts.

Blanket

I've been working on a pink baby blanket in small basket weave stitch.....every time I want to work on a larger project I start out all gung ho then I get bored and it's all I can do to just FINISH it. Attention span of a five year old. I was walking from the car to the front door the other night and the blanket fell out of my bag and I only noticed it when I was unlocking to front door. I pulled it in and laughed because of all the dead leaves and weeds stuck in it. Had to do some repair work, still laughing at what an idiot I am. Oh well!
My next plan might be a blanket but with a different stitch. I hate hauling a large piece around but I'm really uninspired when it comes to small things- hats, especially. And Bug bought me the yarn to make him a panda hat. He wants it to look like Kung Fu Panda. I think I can do it. But I haven't been motivated to start...because I'm still on the PINK BLANKET.
It's back to work today. Yesterday was installment three of a four part class. I was humbled and happy by the feedback I got on the survey that was part of the class. I got back some valuable things. It made me feel pretty good. Bug ruined it by saying the only reason we have LD classes at all is so the corporation can write it off as improving the staff. Hmph. It was still good.